Your License to Ill – Pregnant Woman’s Right to Morning Sickness

Don’t Mess With My Zofran

The words “morning sickness” conjure up so many things for me.  Had a documentary film crew been following me through the first 5 months of my pregnancy they would have had several opportunities to achieve cinematic greatness as they chronicled my plight.  To start, there was this overwhelming smell of cigarette smoke everywhere I went and my resulting disgust that those close to me must surely be sneaking some cigs when I’m not looking.  How dare they lead a secret, unhealthy lifestyle without checking with me?!  Come to find out, that was actually the first weak signal that I was pregnant and it wasn’t cigarette smoke but an intense ability to sniff out mold and mildew in any location.  Go figure.  Sorry Steve for all the finger wagging that you endured even though you had never smoked in your life!

Then there was the severe aversion to the smell of coffee.  So severe that I had to request an office move to get away from the break area.  I really missed everyone hanging around my office (the hanging out had already declined on account of me puking in my trash can every few hours) but it was nice that my manager was so accommodating.  The bus ride into downtown had also become dicey and my savior to make it to work and home every day was my little friend Zofran.   (Not Zohan, like the Adam Sandler movie, but he would have made a good friend since I really like hummus) I must admit I felt like a jerk taking it since it is really for patients on chemo and I’ll guarantee that they have nausea 1000 time worse than I would have ever had.  Either way I’m glad it was invented for them and that I was able to get in on some of that action.

I’m proud of you who have also survived pregnancy and have made it this far into the post.  For those who have been pregnant, natural instinct when the words “morning sickness” appear are to immediately generate a thought bubble that says, “But listen to what happened to ME!  My morning sickness was so bad…”  Totally understandable if you’re feeling that instinct right now.  Please feel free to comment to this post and scare the dookey out of any woman who is currently considering getting pregnant or is in the early stages of their pregnancy.  Actually, I recommend we don’t do that.  As a matter of fact I’m about to finish my story so read on and quit thinking about yourself for a minute.  Geesh!

So here’s the rest of the story.  Even in light of the smells and queasiness, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat!  It is all temporary.  Yes, I consider 40 weeks temporary in the course of a good 80+ years on Earth.  The gift at the end of it all is too amazing to even put into words.  I try not to complain much about pregnancy and giving birth because the joy at the end of it all pales in comparison to any discomfort I may have experienced to get ready for that birth.  No doubt, there are many out there who had horrendous experiences but you don’t find too many moms out there who’d go back in their time machine to reverse it all.

If you are currently pregnant, I hereby give you full authority and right to complain, moan, groan and gripe out anyone who will listen.  You won’t have the luxury of this for much longer because soon all complaining, moaning, groaning and griping will be directed toward you, the mom.  If you are already a mom, where do you go to complain, moan, groan and gripe?  Well, you start a blog of course!  Just joking (well, kind of).

Go rub that belly with the baby inside or find your child somewhere in the house (hint:  probably in front of the TV) and give them a hug and a big smooch.  It was all worth it, wasn’t it?

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